91ÊÓƵ

According to Woody Allen, 80 percent of success is showing up. How someone shows up, how someone is perceived by others, accounts for the other 20 percent.

We form snap judgments of each other based on small details. Folks’ height, handshake, and shoes say more about them than anything they may say. In fact, studies have indicated that we pay attention to non-verbal cues more than anything that comes out of our mouths.

UCLA professor emeritus Albert Mehrabian popularized what has been called the three Vs of communication: visual (non-verbal), voice (sound) and verbal (content). His studies found that audiences weigh verbal at only 7 percent, voice at 38 percent and visual at a whopping 55 percent. It turns out that what isn’t said matters more than what is.

And while a playbook doesn’t exist for every situation, there are universal behaviors that can shape positive or negative impressions. Let’s look at the typical meet-and-greet, where you are part of a small group of people meeting for the first time with a client or potential partner.

Show up

How you show up starts well before the meeting. Many people cram too much into a typical day. Arriving late says something. What does showing up 15 minutes late without business cards say about your future behavior on a jobsite? Will the owner have to fight to be a priority? Will you manage your time effectively to meet a demanding schedule, or will you always be late? Be sure your calendar isn’t booked too tightly.

Check in with your team about what’s expecting at the meeting and your specific role. Take a few minutes to look at the client’s website for current projects or bios of key people to find common ground, or at least show you’ve done some homework. If you are bringing visuals, make sure you know what they represent. It’s better not to bring a visual than bring one and not know how to talk about it.

Think about what you will wear. It’s always safer to dress up than be too casual. Skip the onions at lunch and be conscious of your personal hygiene. You don’t need to look like you came from the site.

Show respect

Somewhere along the way, people have forgotten how to introduce themselves properly. A firm handshake – not a death grip or a limp pump – is the norm. Look the person in the eye; smile naturally, without looking like an idiot; say your name clearly; listen and repeat the other person’s name to register it to memory. This sets the tone and shows respect for the critical first impression. Be mindful of getting too close or pumping too long. Practice and get feedback from colleagues. You should be communicating that you are happy to meet them, grateful for the opportunity, and above all, genuinely interested in them.

Oftentimes, the toughest job is having the least to do at a meeting. Watch your posture and body language. Slumping or leaning back on your chair doesn’t communicate that you value their time. Sit up and pay attention to whoever is talking. Be conscious of yourself. Do you find yourself staring at someone who has interesting facial features? Are you fidgeting, tapping your fingers, or making your own interesting facial gestures? It’s sometimes difficult to discern unconscious behavior. Do your colleagues a favor and point out distracting or disrespectful behaviors afterward.

Show interest

Even though we’ve been focusing on your behavior, don’t lose sight of the fact that you want the other party to be the center of attention. When listening to the speaker, show that you’re engaged and present, and not daydreaming. Subtle cues, such as eye contact and occasional nods (avoid the bobble head) or facial gestures reveal that you are not on automatic pilot. If someone says something that elicits a strong reaction, avoid the temptation to furrow your brow or jolt backward. You never know what someone is going to say.

I’ve often found that a little homework on potential issues – previous bad jobs or thorny relationships – can help the team prepare for surprises with grace. Take notes if doing so keeps you engaged. But drawing dark rhomboids or caricatures of the people around you doesn’t communicate that you’re interested in them – at least not in a positive way.

At initial meetings, seek to understand rather than fill the time with your agenda. Be prepared to go wherever the other party wants to go, even if it’s not business. A spirited talk about lame calls by referees in the World Cup help to establish a rapport. People like to do business with people they like. If your entire meeting is about sharing non-business common ground, don’t be overly concerned that you didn’t cover your key points. The art of engaging conversation is asking good questions. Good questions are not yes-or-no, but open-ended.

A great way to stay engaged and communicate that you are interested is to paraphrase something they said. For example: “So you’re not finding Building Information Modeling as useful on those kinds of projects?” This may provide an opportunity for you to talk about ways you’ve found to make BIM more practical on a recent job. It’s a sell, but within the context of dialogue.

On a final note, showing up doesn’t end when the meeting is over. Power networker and five-time CEO Christine Comaford-Lynch maintains that 90 percent of success is the follow-up. And as Woody Allen might say, most of your points are scored by simply following up. Whether it’s writing a note, providing a lead or setting up another meeting, actions speak louder than words.

Leo MacLeod is a strategic marketing and new business consultant. Contact him at [email protected].