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(Editor’s note: This piece originally ran in the May 19, 2011, issue of the Briefly Legal PDX e-newsletter)

In her time on the bench, Clackamas County Circuit Court Judge Susie L. Norby has heard it all. This week, she shares with Briefly Legal some of the more memorable testimony she鈥檚 encountered.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
In State v. Mineva (August 2007),聽 a defendant was charged with interfering with a police officer based on the defendant鈥檚 ongoing refusal to stop speaking loudly in Russian to her sister, despite a deputy鈥檚 repeated orders to quiet her during an investigation about evidence of blood splatters on the floor and her clothing, and a 911 hang-up call.

Defense attorney: 鈥淢s. Mineva, when the deputy kept telling you to 鈥渟hut up,鈥� why didn鈥檛 you?

Defendant: 鈥淚 did! Many times!鈥�

HOW NOT TO KEEP A SECRET
In a recent case, the charges were multiple counts including burglary, theft, burglary tool possession and stolen vehicle possession. The defense was that the state could produce no credible evidence that the defendant was a thief. The state disagreed in a most entertaining manner.

Deputy district attorney: Deputy, you have several items that are tagged with 鈥淪heriff鈥檚 Property鈥� receipts in front of you. Were all of these items taken from the gold truck that you stopped that evening, in which you found the defendant?

Deputy: That鈥檚 correct.

DDA: Can you tell us what it is that you found?

Deputy: In this bag is a lock pick set. It has individually labeled lock picks for different makes of vehicles.

DDA: Can you describe that set? Is it something you see every day?

Deputy: No. In fact, this is the one and only I鈥檝e ever seen.

DDA: Can you describe what it is? Do you know what it is? Or are you totally clueless?

Deputy: Even if I were clueless, I would know what it is because it is plainly labeled: (holding the item up for the jury to see the big bold embossing鈥�) 鈥淕rand Master Lock Pick Set!鈥�

The defendant currently resides in a very small room with locks that can鈥檛 be picked.