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Recently I was confronted with the duality of tolerance; and I鈥檝e recognized that both interpretations can be equally powerful in fostering a culture of accountability, camaraderie and respect.

Interpretation no. 1: To allow or permit; to refrain from interfering with or prohibiting.

What one allows to happen impacts the levels of trust that exist, how much credibility one has, and what kind of results one gets. Consider how a team鈥檚 performance is being managed. There is probably a mix of things being tolerated and those not.

A company may have a top-performing employee who is known for getting things done. She consistently demonstrates her character and competence, so officials rarely feel the need to interfere with her trajectory. When that stellar, reliable employee is tardy, there is probably more leniency than for a consistently late and average employee. It鈥檚 not likely that officials have different standards for punctuality, but rather different levels of earned trust. The risk, however, is conflicting expectations and the perception of favoritism.

Maybe there鈥檚 an issue so minor that the supervisor chooses to let it go. After all, he or she doesn鈥檛 want to be one of those control-freak micromanagers, right?! The litmus tests here are: 1, how might ignoring this issue cause grief; and 2, is the employee being given some reasonable slack or is an uncomfortable conversation being avoided? When we ignore issues, they can fester into an inaccurate storyline that sabotages performance and relationships.

Tolerance can be healthy when we accept that others will have a different way of doing things 鈥� perhaps a way that adds value to the process and work output. People鈥檚 different communications styles, backgrounds and perspectives can bring breadth. In these instances, we recognize we don’t need to interfere with their methodology. Instead, we measure results and relationship impacts while providing oversight in context of the organization鈥檚 culture.

People earn their autonomy and freedoms, and as a manager, you shape and contribute to that condition. As Susan Scott, author of 鈥淔ierce Conversations,鈥� succinctly states, 鈥淲e get what we tolerate.鈥� We define what鈥檚 acceptable and what鈥檚 not simply by what we allow to transpire in attitudes, language and behavior. If there are no conversations or consequences, one will experience 鈥渂usiness as usual,鈥� which generally leads to mediocracy, not excellence.

What do employees think is accepted or expected? What do they believe is unacceptable and not tolerated? It is essential that clear expectations and both positive and constructive feedback be provided continuously to establish healthy boundaries.

Interpretation no. 2: Showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with (or understands or feels comfortable with).

This kind of tolerance speaks to acknowledging and valuing diverse opinions and experiences. It demonstrates an earnest desire to understand others and a commitment to building a better way together. Being willing to be contributed to from another perspective reflects the pursuit of individual and organizational continuous improvement. Our colleagues are in essence our work family, and like families, possess different personalities, politics and dynamics that fluctuate between harmony and discord.

I have witnessed leadership teams struggle with the existence of divergent peer-to-peer opinions. Often that鈥檚 due to each team member positioning himself or herself (or his or her agenda) as the best solution moving forward. Tolerating others鈥� opinions can feel like losing ground when one鈥檚 passion and ego want a certain desired outcome. If this sounds familiar, consider collectively practicing active listening and sharpening empathy. Ultimately, if every team member practices seeking to understand the others, the group likely will have a more well-thought-out decision, alignment and buy-in.

Leveraging tolerance to build camaraderie

A sense of camaraderie is a key performance indicator for healthy, high-functioning teams. If you鈥檝e worked on a team that collaborated well, leveraged each other鈥檚 unique strengths and problem-solved together, then you鈥檝e probably experienced team synergy. But camaraderie is more than working well together. It means bringing one鈥檚 authentic, candid self to the table.

When we are genuine, we make genuine connections 鈥� the kind that we tend to trust and rely on. It fosters a deeper caring for each other, which creates more cohesive bonds. It has the potential to create efficiencies as people are less obstructed by masks, hidden agendas, etc. When people are encouraged to show up authentically, it鈥檚 also easier to unearth and leverage their natural strengths.

People are quirky creatures. We all have control issues, egos and pet peeves or preferences. I fondly refer to one of my clients as the 鈥渋sland of the misfit toys.鈥� One of the things I admire about its culture is the acceptance of the distinctive individual contributions that each team member makes. Over the years I have interviewed dozens of its clients as part of a client feedback exercise; I can tell you its clients are highly satisfied with both my client鈥檚 technical performance and humanness it brings.

Cut each other some slack. That does not mean accepting subpar performance or poor attitudes 鈥� that鈥檚 neither good leadership nor respectful. Instead, assume good intent until proven otherwise.

While I worked with a manufacturer鈥檚 director of operations, he shared the challenges of a particular direct report 鈥� a talented project manager with a tendency toward self-importance. Rather than look at this through the lens of frustration, the director decided to see his project manager鈥檚 strengths and weaknesses, and make room for the human factor. 鈥淲ho of us doesn鈥檛 have a little baggage?鈥� he said. When we sit in judgment about others, we create a critical environment, and often on issues that are not of critical importance.

What are you tolerating that you shouldn鈥檛, and what are you not tolerating that you should? Examine your work world 鈥� is something not working that you are allowing to persist? Or, is there room for tolerating diverse styles in a new, productive and more rewarding way?

Karen Natzel is a business therapist who helps leaders create healthy, vibrant and high-performing organizations. Contact her at 503-806-4361 or [email protected].