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There鈥檚 a common notion that the most essential element in our business is relationships. The truth is, business is all about relationships, including and perhaps most importantly, the relationships we have internally with our teammates.

I have witnessed organizations develop company values or customer service guidelines and miss the opportunity to integrate them fully into the core of the culture. Team norms exist 鈥� either by default or by design. Design does not mean they are fabricated for show but rather developed to shape and support a thriving team.

The concept of 鈥渃ollaboration鈥� gets tossed around a lot when we speak of operating as a team. Yet rarely do we define the conditions, means, roles, explicit expectations, or skills to work collaboratively. It is as if we hope it will just happen organically.

True collaboration is a complex dynamic. There is the spirit of collaboration 鈥� the intent in which we come together to share information, creatively brainstorm and solve problems, and contribute to each other and the outcome. There are the skills of articulating our ideas for others to fully hear, listening to others without attachment to our ideas or ways of doing things, and a heightened emotional intelligence for noticing when we get triggered. Collaboration also may require patience 鈥� to slow down, be present, and fully attentive in the conversation.

Real collaboration is also built on the fundamental team norms of respect and trust.

When I assess the effectiveness of teams, I watch for how they interact in meetings, how they reach out to each other for expertise or perspectives, how they communicate and connect in every medium. I listen to hear if everyone has a voice that is heard and considered, and how much 鈥� or how little 鈥� respect and trust they extend each other. I notice if and how they appreciate and care for each other. I explore how deeply they have curated a culture of psychological safety.

Fostering respect in a culture is deceptively simple, and yet equally easy to get wrong. I have seen key team members show up with little concern of others, and when called out for their disrespectful behavior, respond with a statement that another team member had not yet 鈥渆arned their respect.鈥� Let me stop that thinking in its tracks. Each member of a team deserves to be treated with respect. If you value respect, you live it in every interaction. It鈥檚 the baseline for treating others. Now, it is also true that some people will impress with their knowledge, courage, integrity, or skills in such a way that you develop an even deeper respect for them.

A simple exercise you can do with team members is to ask each one of them how they feel respected 鈥� and how they feel disrespected. Understanding and living by these distinctions can help you shape the kind of norms that build true team bonds.

Trust is measured both by character and competency. (see 鈥淭he Speed of Trust鈥� by Stephen Covey). By character, do we trust the person to do the right thing? By competency, do we trust the person has the requisite skills to do the job well?

We build trust one conversation and one act at a time. The more consistent we are in saying what we mean and following through with what we said we would do, the more 鈥渄eposits鈥� we are making in our relationship accounts. This is also true in the relationship we have with ourselves!

A colleague of mine has a mantra: 鈥淏eing clear is kind.鈥� Her entire team understands and lives by it. In their team norms, it is expected that people will not sugarcoat their messages, that people will strive to be clear about their expectations, wants, and needs, and that people recognize that by getting clear they are being transparent and respectful to team members, holding them able to hear what they have to offer in ways that are fruitful.

There is a skill in saying what we mean in a way that honors our truth and is kind to others. I have had numerous conversations during which people state their communication style is 鈥渄irect.鈥� Often what they are telling me is that they say whatever they want in whatever way they want, regardless of the impact of their emotional wake. Rarely are they effective in building strong relationships because people often experience them as more authoritative than collaborative. Let me be clear, I appreciate directness in one鈥檚 communications. It is important to make a distinction between being forthright and being insensible to others. Communication is not just conveying information; it鈥檚 connecting in a way that buoys team cohesion.

These acts of trust create a work environment that invites people to participate in a full and authentic way. It creates space for people to take initiative, take calculated risks, and make mistakes. Creativity, innovation, and growth require it.

Resilient team dynamics are also supported by clarity of responsibilities and workflow. Do we know who is doing what? Do we have a shared understanding of how and when the work will get completed? Is there some predictability of the process to move an initiative forward or address a concern? And does the team participate in the communication protocols to keep all teammates informed and engaged?

By developing a shared set of clearly defined norms, we understand the rules we have created together to play this game of work. It becomes the code of conduct by which you choose to operate 鈥� day in and day out. It is a framework for meaningfully investing in relationships and for determining how things will get done.

What are the team norms by which you want to conduct business? How will you create space and the tone for real collaboration? Teams are the epicenter of our organizational well-being. The crux of our success is truly in our relationships. May yours thrive on genuine respect and trust!

Karen Natzel is a business therapist who helps leaders create healthy, vibrant and high-performing organizations. Contact her at 503-806-4361 or [email protected].

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed in the preceding commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Daily Journal of Commerce or its editors. Neither the author nor the 91视频 guarantees the accuracy or completeness of any information published herein.